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jordanpeterman

Memento Mori: Confronting Mortality for a Positive Mindset

Updated: Sep 29

At first glance, sitting around thinking about death seems like a real downer. Surely you'd have a better time daydreaming about the cool stuff you're gonna buy next payday or your plans for the weekend. When your partner notices that far away look in your eye and asks what you're thinking about, I'm sure "death" isn't a comforting response. But reflecting on your mortality is a powerful exercise that can give your life perspective and and a sense of urgency while helping you to truly live in the moment.

You can't truly appreciate comfort if you have never experienced discomfort. There would be nothing to contrast and your comfort would just be the default, making any slight discomfort seem unbearable. You would have no context for the concept of light if you had never known darkness. Appreciation of the magic that is life is missing if one has never sat and pondered what it would mean to die, what it would be like to just stop existing. We should view every day and every action taken through this lens, and nothing could be more humbling. All of life's petty grievances and annoyances lose their power. Flipping off a stranger in traffic because they merged into your lane seems so childish when we zoom out and take a wider view of what it means to be alive and how easily we could cease to be.


Reflecting on the inevitability of death also reaffirms our commitment to never waste a second of our lives, and to never neglect the ones we love. We get so bogged down in the routines of our daily lives that we end up taking our loved ones for granted, and that's completely natural, but when that happens we are missing out on the absolute miracle that is every human life, every day that we are so fortunate to live and breathe, to hold our loved ones in our arms. When your child is being a little too loud or playing a little too hard, we furrow our brows and prepare the reprimand. But stopping to imagine that precious child, grieving over his dearly departed parent, growing up having never heard the stories you could have told them, having never absorbed his parent's wisdom, it should stop you in your tracks and expose the pettiness of the complaints. Furthermore, to imagine that your child is the one who has left this world, it's unimaginable what rambunctious play that could make you come down on them harshly. Viewing life's annoyances through this lens gives some perspective and helps guide us to the conclusion that there are far more important things than getting your way.


"You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think" - Marcus Aurelius.


I have this quote from Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius framed on my living room wall, and I try to reflect on it daily. One day I will die, and while there is a probability that it won't be today or tomorrow, I will surely die on a day and that day will be just like this day. No mater what I do, say or think, I always try to keep in mind that this day, hour or minute could be my last. I may have spoken the final words I will ever speak to someone whom I love more than life itself, and those finals words should be something kind, supportive and thoughtful, and not some petty nitpicking about something I found bothersome.


Life is short, yet we waste so much of it. We spend our days in anger and frustration, bickering with our loved ones over trivial details, oblivious to the fact that the sands of time are emptying but we aren't privy to the level remaining. We lounge on the couch, staring at the television or scrolling through our phones, in no way acting with the urgency that this life deserves and arrogantly assuming that tomorrow is a given. How many people have been on their deathbed, reflecting on all those wasted days that could have been spent exploring their own potential or telling their loved ones how much they truly mean to them? Every human life involves many regrets and they can't be avoided completely, but telling yourself every day Memento Mori, I am going to die, serves to guide your mindset in the direction of appreciation, perspective and never wasting a second. It's a simple meditation, and is a recipe for a live well-lived.


J. Peterman



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